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So Many Things Were Absent in the USSR!

So Many Things Were Absent in the USSR!
Maysuryan Alexander 19.08.2012

One of these days the prime minister of Russia Dmitry Medvedev made travel across Siberia by train. He joyfully shared his fresh impressions. "Earlier, - Medvedev declared, - there were no toilets in trains and planes. We always treated our people like this: ten hours of way and no toilets”.

What valuable and new historical revelation! However, folklore and national memory don't confirm this revelation of Dmitry Anatolyevich.

But now it is clear: people tried to present reality in more favorable view. The same with memory of a great number of people who keep resistant memories of existence of toilets in the Soviet planes and trains. From now it is clear: these are false memoirs brought and inspired by the same communist promotion by means of brain wash. While there were no toilets in reality!

Just imagine how passengers of trains "Moscow-Vladivostok" suffered forcedly having no possibility to visit lavatory for the whole week! Hitchcock with his horror films and chamber of tortures hits the grit.

Now we understand situation with the toilets - there was even no place to waste terrorists. Frankly speaking there were practically no terrorists. While now we have harmony – we have both the toilets and terrorists. Hurrah, comrades! – oh, I am sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

There were also no Olympic medals in the USSR. You don't believe? Dmitry Anatolyevich authoritatively noticed at the beginning of the London Olympic Games: we, of course, are not London yet on sport development, but already not the USSR. On a number of the Olympic medals Russian national team appeared already on the fourth place in team placing. I am curious what place the USSR got? Probably, the forty fourth – unless it could be differently?

There was also no music of the western groups such as “The Beatles” or “Deep Purple”. More truly it existed, but only "on the bones" - self-made plates from x-ray pictures. Under this music image of human bones or skull was twisting on a player - "Memento Mori” – so that thoughtless members of the group Beatles don’t forget what waits for them in GULAG for their harmful hobby.

"When I started listening to the music of "Deep Purple", - Dmitry Anatolyevich told musicians of his favourite group, - frankly speaking, I couldn't imagine that once we would sit at a table, then we had rather rigid system, you know, at school I was DJ, but it was unusual disco because there hard rock was the main music there and I used to bring a list of musicians whose music I would switch on to the Komsomol Committee". Yes, it’s simply horror, horror, horror.

What else was absent in the USSR except discos? Yeah, mortgages. There are already jokes on this theme. In damned Soviet times apartments were distributed free of charge, in rotation. Whether it is possible to believe in such disgrace? Now, thanks God, such nonsense doesn’t exist. As Dmitry Anatolyevich once noticed: "We won’t distribute apartments any more. Therefore to receive comfortable housing, "medvedev's apartments" is necessary to make your brains work, it is necessary to try to make something to find your place in life to receive source of incomes. I think it’s absolutely correct and fair".

Really! Involuntarily I admire the head of our government – just imagine what great mind one should have to get such "source of incomes" to build such "medvedev's apartments"! Unless it’s possible that such brains have enough space inside the skull! Not without reason Dmitry Anatolyevich without false modesty somehow said that all his words were written down for future generations.

What else wasn’t present in the USSR and, thanks God, is present now?

There were no monuments to Stolypin who sentenced five thousand revolutionaries and anti-terror whirlwinds. There were no explosions of houses with sleeping inhabitants. There was no Christ the Savior Cathedral for unauthorized prayer in which it is possible to get into prison now. There were no officials going by "Maybachs" and monks with precious Breguets on hands. There were less old men rummaging in garbage. There was no Abramovich's yacht of one size with cruiser, there were no announcements in newspapers: "A child needs ... thousand dollars for urgent operation. You can save him life!" There were no memorial boards to White Guards and Krasnovsky Cossacks who fought on the side of "the third Reich". There were no such concepts as "kickback", "non-payments of pensions/salaries", there were no nano-dust in patriarchal apartments. There was no TV program "Avidity" with the host Alfred Koch and "effective owners" closing factories, blowing up dams, burning down woods. So, many things were absent.

... How did we live without it?!

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